#I want to break free

I feel blue. I’m in a sad mood. The weather is inappropriately mean to me. To my mood.

My birthday comes closer. I’m getting older, and the weather more and more unpredictable. But not me. I’m stuck. Glued. I want to scream SOS. Not sure someone would understand. I would be heard. But who would understand? Who would feel me. Really? Who would be able to look inside me. Get hold of my feelings. My thoughts. Decode them, and understand what’s underneath? Who? I’m not sure.

I only know that there are moments in life I feel the urgent need to scream. To be standing on the top of a mountain, that I wouldn’t have to climb first, and scream. Scream like never before. And those moments, the moments I feel the urge to scream multiply. The older I get. Exponentially. The more demotivated I get. The more and more I want to break free from daily routines. These daily insanities.

Break free. From this life that has too many constraints. From rules that were not constructed by people with common sense. In most cases. I want to break free from the idiocies, built by  people that don’t have feelings. That just don’t care. That don’t want to care. Because they don’t have to.

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I want to break free, to be on a boat and to be carried away by waves. Waves that know where I need to go. Waves that will gently take me where I should be. I need to break free. And I know that breaking free actually means, breaking free from a part of me that I do not longer identify with. That is an older version of me. An outdated one. One I don’t want no longer to me. I can no longer be. One that I do not hate, but do not like either.

I need to break free. Today. Now. At this very moment.

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#talkingmonkeys

Months ago we decided to write a blog together. Long months in which we almost started, but then discovered that we needed a title for our blog. So we went into a journey into ourselves, and then into google, trying to search for all the nice sounding words, even tried out a word-generator. And then, after having read something about humanitarianism, we thought, if there’s one thing that defines us, than that’s being women in their early forties, trying to change the world – our own little spots of the world – for the better. And no, we aren’t about to deliver a ‘Miss World’ speech, as we don’t aim for world peace. We just want peace with our inner selves.

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Coming to a point, where we no longer can rest uncomfortably in our comfort zone, we know that we need to change ourselves in order to change things around us. But how?

So how to get things off our chest? Writing a blog, we thought is a great way to express ourselves and tell the world how we feel about things. Everybody’s blogging. So why shouldn’t we. No, we don’t really hope for our 15 minutes of fame, nor to advertise cosmetics or clothes – not even to show off our philosophical brilliance, which we could. By harvesting our everyday opinions, our countless comments and (usually) interesting conversations, we will try to leave our ‘comfort zone’. Being women, mothers, wives, friends, customers, co-workers and sometimes bitches when the situation calls for it, we have tons of experiences – good and bad that we think are worthwhile sharing.

At the same time our challenges to tidy up in some 21st century complexities; handling everyday-life of full-time work and juggling the home-sphere while being true to ourselves and our values plus ideally manage to develop intellectually at the same time. This takes some effort. Serious amounts of effort. But we want it all to work and we are prepared to muster the energy to do so.

Through this blog we aim to support and encourage each-other in managing to muddle through our challenges and in having a great time while we’re at it. Blogging we hope, will allow us to experiment with and to engage in social interactions.

Bear with us, as we just started..